Episode 13: An Interview with the Queer Elder Who Saved My Life
Let softness be your revolution.
Episode Overview:
In this episode, Jess sits down with TJ - their middle school basketball coach and the Queer elder that saved their life when they were younger. TJ and Jess discuss their experiences growing up Queer in the south, chosen family, and surviving and resisting the policies of the current administration.
About the Guest
I’m TJ jacobs, she/her born and raised in Alabama. (I know I know) I’m a gold star lesbian, and never really struggled with my sexuality. My mother, however, struggled greatly with my sexuality. I have two twin daughters who are all grown up. I married my wife in 2011. I have 2 wonder step kids, 1 boy I girl. Out of the 4 kids we have - all are straight. We failed to convert as some in society would believe. Life is full and busy. Family always comes first.
We live in a small college town in the middle of Alabama. We are blessed beyond measure.
I’m a maintenance manager for an international company.
I was Jess’s middle school basketball coach, he broke my ankle when I was teaching how to pick and roll. My one and only (so far) broken bone.
There’s a quiet kind of joy in recognizing yourself in someone else.
In this episode, TJ shares how being Queer reshaped her relationship to care, creativity, and connection—and how cultivating self-trust is always worth it.
Together, we discuss:
✨ Growing up in rural Alabama and coming out in stages
✨ Everyday survival, joy, and leadership
✨ Letting go of urgency and the pressure to "arrive."
✨ Navigating family, boundaries, and chosen kin
Transcript
With grounded warmth and lyrical clarity, TJ speaks as someone who has done the work—and gently invites the rest of us to slow down, soften, and listen.
🎧 Listen now 🎧
About your host:
Jess Romeo is a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner, clinical social worker, mentor, and educator with a passion for making gender-affirming care more accessible, inclusive, and informed.
With years of experience seeing patients, training healthcare providers, and being queer & trans, Jess brings a nuanced, compassionate, and engaging voice to conversations about gender identity and social justice.
Through this podcast, Jess cultivates a curious and brave space to explore the realities, challenges, and triumphs of our lives—helping providers, allies, and community members reflect, deepen their knowledge, and take meaningful action.
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